What is Ukraine?: an odd collection of quotes

Ukrainian FAQ: all the questions Ukrainians are undoubtedly sick of answering
image found on vk.com

There's one question that people always ask you more than any other when you're a foreigner living in Ukraine.

Not "Where are you from?"
Not "Why did you come here?"
Not even "Do you like our country?"

The Great Blini Peace Treaty of 2013

Thank you guys for your comments and emails! I'm happy to report that all of us are alive and well, even the cat (who has been eating the [extremely, extremely well-cooked] meat).

For forty-eight hours I've been attempting to tone down my shameful super-bitch alter ego. It's like she manifests herself out of the darkest recesses of my head, making a special appearance for only 2 particular people on this planet, one of those people being D's mom. (As to the other person, sorry. Probably nothing is ever going to change there and you know why.) D's mom is really sweet- she tries so, so, SO hard and watching my evil twin treat her so poorly practically constitutes a crime against humanity. But I have learned a couple of things by now:

• Mothers + their sons + the son's girlfriend = a combo that probably doesn't work well long-term in any culture. It's like two angry reindeer and an innocent man, all stuck inside a bottle.
• I am the mistress of cleaning and decorating my home. If someone tries to rearrange the plants on the windowsill or clean my sink, prepare for war!!
• Cooking, however... please step right up. Here I'll totally yield ground.
• Guilt gifts help.

So, after buying a scarf for D and a scarf + tapochki (aka house slippers, the building block of Ukrainian society) for his mother, it came time to put part two into action: a truce cemented by the noble pancake.

We made blini together.

It was surprisingly easy to make them.

2 cups of milk, 2 eggs, 1 tsp salt, 2 tbsp sugar, and roughly 2 cups flour.

Mix gently.

Add (a shocking amount of) oil to a dry frying pan and wait for it to heat up.

Pour the heated oil into the batter, stir once, then begin frying.

The return

Names of all the in-laws in Russian. Yep, it's that complicated!
(Муж = husband, жена = wife)

It's that time again, time for the Trial by Fire Visiting Relative. Those of you who have been reading this blog for a while know what that means :p

Someone's mother has come to stay with us (and it's not Кит's mom!).

The front door burst open yesterday, and a laughing, exhausted mother/son duo stumbled in. The power was out in the building and they'd had to walk up probably 200 stairs to reach the apartment. As soon as mom caught her breath, she lugged her bag to the middle of the floor and began the gift distribution.

Someone got his USSR birth certificate and a new pair of shoes (and lots of compliment fishing: oh, they're probably the wrong color, you must not like them, I should have bought a different pair)

Decaffeinated black tea, impossible to get in Ukraine.

Life among the reindeer herders

In which Odin the Alaskan traverses the tundra, milks reindeer, makes pelmeni, and generally enjoys life with a group of Siberian reindeer herders!

Thanks to Khoomei.com for this map.

Missed something? Catch up on Part 1: Siberian Adventures and Part 2: On the road in the Tuva Republic!

Map of Tyva Republic showing our route. Kyzyl to Toora-Khem is shown in blue, while Toora-Khem to the herders' camp is in red. Regional boundaries are indicated by faint pink lines—Todzhu is the largest region and the one furthest to the northwest.

It's difficult to discuss reindeer herding without making it seem romantic and/or otherworldly. Its exotic image is probably part of why it's an interesting topic to many. Even as someone from Alaska, a land where reindeer herding was historically widespread for a time, the lifestyle of a herder seems far-removed from the realm of my day-to-day experiences.

Yet many aspects of life during my few weeks among the herders were rather ordinary. Our typical tasks and chores in camp were familiar. A number of days there seemed to drag on, making me stir-crazy, especially if I didn't leave camp to go walking or hiking. A big part of the herders' lives involves travel through the taiga. To a city-dweller this might seem exotic, but to someone who's worked in the woods or spent a lot of time there, it's often pleasant, yet also has a certain familiarity to it.

There is one thing that does make these herders' lives extraordinary, though. Almost all people in the modern world—even the vast majority of rural Siberian natives—spend some or all of their time living in town. Even most reindeer herders nowadays are based in settlements: herders in northern Siberia commonly work on a shift-based system (e.g. 2 weeks in the tundra, 2 weeks in the village), while Alaska's Inupiaq herders make day-trips to their reindeer and return to their villages each night.

But not the Todzhan herders.

Sergei Shagdyr-oolovich lives with his 25-year-old son, whom I'll call D. Both father and son return separately to the village of Toora-Khem (or nearby Adyr-Kezhig) several times annually, but live nearly the entire year in the taiga.

Sergei Shagdyr-oolovich

Wintertime they spend at lower elevations, where the weather is not as severe and the snowdrifts are not as deep. Here, the herders have a few small cabins, including this one, where we initially met Shagdyr-oolovich.

In late spring the herders follow their reindeer up to near treeline. During the course of  a summer, reindeer & herders move several times from pasture to pasture, the latter camping in a lightweight nylon walltent.

Reindeer may roam at any time day or night, but they seldom wander more than a mile or so from camp.

They are very curious animals, and often linger near camp, poking their paws & noses at anything of interest.

The lake

Back when the city was still swaddled in greenery and thunderstorms provided a chilly respite from the summer heat, D and I went out in search of an adventure.

This was the same afternoon we photographed the odd mix of art / graffiti that decorates Akademika Pavlova street. I remember feeling so relaxed that day; we actually had a whole afternoon off (it was Saturday) to wander around and not be at the constant beck and call of others. A student met us at the Akademika Pavlova metro stop in order to get her new coursebook for our private lessons and then- freedom. Sweet, sweet freedom.

Off we went, down the road. To one side was a high wall and an empty, weather-worn security booth. Aside from the traffic to our right, we were alone.

And then, as desolate as that view was, we reached the intersection of Akademika Pavlova and Blyukhera street and it all changed.

Housewives shook the dust out of rugs from their balconies on the 9th floor. Cars honked. People rushed down into the Studentska metro station like ants disappearing into their subterranean tunnels.

5 things you (probably) didn't know you could do in Kharkov

You know those days when you really should be doing something productive... but you find yourself wandering aimlessly through the hours instead?

That day is today.

So let's hang out together on the internet and avoid the outside world for just a little bit longer. Because-

picture found on vk.com

Here are 5 totally spur-of-the-moment-things-I-just-thought-of that you probably didn't know you could do in Kharkov.

On the road in the Tuva Republic

After getting off to an unpromising start, Odin's journey in search of the Tuvan reindeer herders continues...
(If you missed Part 1, click here) 

 

Thanks to Khoomei.com for this map.

Map of Tyva Republic showing our route. Kyzyl to Toora-Khem is shown in blue, while Toora-Khem to the herders' camp is in red. Regional boundaries are indicated by faint pink lines—Todzhu is the largest region and the one furthest to the northwest.

Finally our host-family in Toora-Khem asked their neighbor, Anton, to guide us, and he proposed an arrangement that would be slightly cheaper and less risky than our other options had been. This plan involved renting a huge Soviet truck called a ЗИЛ (ZIL), apparently capable of plowing across the swollen streams along our route to the herders. The ЗИЛ could get us to within walking distance of the herders' current camp. Anton would then hike up and fetch back the herder, along with reindeer on which we and our gear could ride up to their camp. (A former herder, Anton disingenuously claimed that I would be able to ride a reindeer, despite the fact that I weigh 220 lbs!)

The ЗИЛ

After a morning marked by yet more gossip-driven uncertainty, and an afternoon spent buying lots of groceries and packing, we at last loaded up the ЗИЛ and prepared to leave. Our host family sent one of their relatives along with us (a "service" for which they requested a hefty chunk of our cash); a local cop and some other friend or relative also came along for the ride. This entourage was planning to use the trip as an opportunity for a few days of hunting in the mountains, and the cop also had some sort of work-related mission near our destination. We weren't supposed to know about it, but he himself told us while drunk later that evening.


Just before leaving, our host family warned Ayanka that we be extremely careful to guard our money from our traveling companions, that they would undoubtedly be drinking lots of vodka, and that under no circumstances should I drink with them...