Pirates and the Internet overseas

Just to think *sigh* back home I was always such a law-abiding citizen...

Okay, first let me confess: there are some very basic things that most people learned at age 12 and I didn't. Like the rules of ironing skirts. Or how to heat things up with radio waves. This led to several episodes of the microwave vs. the fork, the microwave vs. the paper towel, the microwave vs. the styrofoam container, and so on. In my defense though, I never make the same mistake twice! Anyways, that's why I ended up doing a Google search for "does butter go bad?" I thought I probably knew the answer to this question (turns out it does) but my babysitter I mean common sense consultant (the boyfriend) was out and I was hungry for this. It seems like butter would last a long time, doesn't it? Back in the states I could keep a stick in the fridge forever but things have a shorter shelf life here and I thought I should probably investigate. When I clicked on the link to a cooking forum this screen popped up: The administrator has banned your IP address. What, seriously? For what?! My first thought was: UKRAINE. I bet they banned Ukrainian IP addresses. (My next thought was: oh, it's okay, the butter is probably fine. Turns out- it wasn't :p )

Now why would a Ukrainian be banned from even reading a cooking forum? What's your guess? Spam?

Ukrainian style

Even though I want to constantly sneak close-up photos of people in interesting outfits, I usually am able to hold back. But this outfit was so typical that it demanded to be captured.

Bleached blond hair, black boots with a heel, tight black jeans, a leather jacket AND a fur vest. This describes the winter attire of most Kharkovian women, except most go either for a leather jacket or a fur vest, not both. Oh, and black is just as popular a hair color choice as blond.

Other observations:

• Two young moms out for a stroll in fashionable clothes. One pushes a baby stroller and holds an open beer. The other, in boots with a pencil-thin heel, smokes a cigarette and totters along next to her toddler.  

• On the metro: a man in a gray wife-beater, gold chain, black jeans, a laptop case, and pointy black leather shoes. Pointy shoes are very popular for both sexes.

• Lots of women over 50 with purple or pink hair. Is this the result of a mishap with some dye? I'd think so except I've actually seen hair dyes available in these colors in the drug stores.

• A middle-aged man in blazer, slacks, sneakers, with traditional Cossack-style hair (head shaved except for a tiny tuft on top). It's common to see older men wearing blazers and track pants.

• Bangs. Everyone has bangs. Everyone.

• Ukrainians can make mullets look good. Does this mean I've been here for too long? 

• One wardrobe staple (other than heels) is the lace or mesh shirt. This is an AWESOME idea. They're sold everywhere, they're cheap, they come in every color and pattern possible, and you can use them to easily change the look of an outfit. They come in varying degrees of see-through so they're not a stand-alone item. To the right are my newest shirts. They were about $5 each at the Caravan mall.

• In the winter it's popular for women to wear mid-length shorts, nylons, and boots, creating an interesting 3-layer look. Now that the weather's warm we have gone from that to merely short shorts. Seriously, how did people stay so skinny all winter? Does no one need to go on a "winter's over, it's time to lose the 10 lbs from the holidays" diet?

• Another flashback- as winter ended and spring began, bright colors suddenly came out of hiding. Well, except for the guys. Men tend to always wear subdued colors. And you'll notice women wearing clothes that are tailored in at the waist or simply using a belt to accent their waistline. I think this is a brilliant idea that we've forgotten about in the US. No wonder Ukrainians have a reputation for looking so put-together!

• Incredibly long and elaborate fake nails. It's one thing to have these, it's another to have them redone in a new style every week (as I've seen on many of my students). Btw, it's incredibly amusing to watch people try to send text messages with such nails.

Steve Daubs, who keeps an interesting photo blog about Kharkov, observes young beauties and old babushki in this post.

All that aside, I like the fashion here in general. As I've written, ah, like 90 billion times before. Let me show you why...
The lace tops? Here's one with a white tank top underneath:

Turtlenecks are popular. I like their look so I just deal with the {gasp} strangling neckband. This unusual necklace was a gift from some male co-workers on Women's Day. 

I must admit the top above did not last very long. It literally fell apart after two months, but let me tell you- those were two beautiful months of lace turtleneck!

And oh, the super-feminine details! Most of my Ukrainian shirts have lace backs or sparkles or bows. D ribs me endlessly about the bows but hey, I dig them. They make me feel like a present. An expensive one.

True, this is one crazy shirt just from the front. And there's lace and a bow on the back. I can't help it! It's soooo good!

Want more fashion? Go here!

Dining on Deribasovskaya* Street (Odessa)

Deribasovskaya Street. I know, what is it with the long words, right? :p It took me about a week to pronounce this correctly! We had most of our meals on Дерибасовская (Russian) or Дерибасiвська (Ukrainian) Street during our Odessa visit. Wikipedia calls it "a pedestrian walkway in the heart of Odessa." The street is paved with cobblestones and lined with restaurants, pricey shops, and a park. It's where you go to see or be seen. Our friend Martin calls it interpreter date central (usually a group of three: the foreign man, the Ukrainian woman, and an interpreter). But I digress. Let's get back to the topic: food!

*well, most of them are on this street.

Mick O'Neills

 












Meals at Mick O'Neills Irish pub were the mainstay of our diet in Odessa. This is Martin's favorite restaurant. He likes to settle in at an outdoor table, peruse the Russian/English menu, and trade greetings with other expats.
Breakfast:

Left: All-Day Irish Breakfast. 87 grivna.


Right: Very tasty Блини (curd pancakes) with raisins and sour cream. 32 grivna.


And the most important part of any breakfast?...

tea!

Breakfast, the following day:

Left: All-Day Irish Breakfast again.

Right: Omelette. 50 grivna.





This pub is open 24 hours. We made a late-night visit involving alcohol and a slice of chocolate cake that almost killed me with its chocolatey-ness (that's a good thing). 

Топ Сендвич

I'll teach you some Russian. Ready?

Happy Victory Day!

Today, May 9th, is celebrated as Victory Day throughout the former Soviet Union. In a nutshell, this day in 1945 marked the surrender of Nazi Germany and the end of WWII for the USSR. I don't think the United States celebrates this day, does it? There is Memorial Day to honor those who have died in war (the last Monday in May) and Veteran's Day to honor military personnel (November 11th) but I don't recall ever hearing of Victory Day.

Remember the military parades in Moscow and Kiev? Tanks, soldiers marching in formation, and all that jazz? Those were Victory Day parades. Nowadays people visit the cemetery on this day and maybe catch a parade or fireworks show. Many people have the day off. There's a sign on the door of my apartment building inviting war veterans to a local park for free food. Here are some signs commemorating Victory Day in Odessa (День Победы = Russian, День Перемоги = Ukrainian):

Are you doing anything special to honor Victory Day?

Odessa, Part I

Odessa: city of opera houses and cast iron lamp posts, massive rusted Black Sea tankers and sea breezes, marriage agencies, interpreter dates, horse-drawn carriage rides, beaches, luxury ships of the rich... and let's not forget, the third largest city in Ukraine! Odessa had long been recommended to us by many people. They all claimed there was just "something different" about the place. They all swore up and down that it was a bit fantastic and definitely worth the visit. Even the first season of холостяк capitalized on the romantic image of Odessa. Still, it always sounded so far away to me, like someplace I'd never get to visit. And D? D never wanted to visit. He always called it a city of sailors, crooks, and con artists. Despite living in nearby Crimea, his family never ventured there.

Odessa train station

Finally a chance arrived. A Canadian friend invited us to stay with him and see the city. From the start it was a fortuitous trip. I held my breath when I climbed on the train, expecting another long train ride in overheated and stuffy air. Instead, the train had noticeable air circulation and for once we didn't slowly boil to death in our bunks. The 14 hours (yes, 14 hours!) from Kharkov to Odessa passed in relative comfort. And later, on the overnight train from Odessa to Kiev, there were even electrical outlets and- it felt like- cool air coming from a vent in the ceiling. Maybe this is preparation for the Euro 2012 championship games next month? If so, thank you, soccer! Just when I thought you'd never do me any good :p

Our friend Martin lives near Derybasivska Street, one of the main streets and a major hot spot for hungry tourists. The chestnut trees outside his windows were in full bloom. In fact, there were blooming trees everywhere in Odessa and the tranquilizing scent of blossoms was carried on the breeze.




Martin met us at the train station that first morning, took us to breakfast at an Irish pub, and then played tour guide for the rest of the day under the blazing (May!) sun.

Not far from Martin's apartment we found a large and peaceful park. Children drove toy cars around a fountain, grandmothers and beer-drinkers relaxed on benches, walkers browsed through souvenir stands or studied artwork, and a beautiful church attracted others. This child's chalk drawing caught my eye... what is that thing to the left of the figure? Is it a bottle?

Then we really got going...

The famous opera house. I hope to catch a show here next time.

City Hall

Did someone mention romance?

Newlyweds put locks here to symbolize their love. Every so often city services comes through and cuts them all off.

Rule #1 of Odessa: You must wear/buy one of these sailor shirts. Bonus points: add a sailor cap!

Why yes, that is one of the new high-speed trains that Ukraine has been promising. When will it be unwrapped?

The famous Potemkin steps. They're a killer on a hot day, almost 200 steps. Count 'em!

The Port of Odessa

Note the sailor dress!

One of the many tankers in port.

Soooo hot! Time to bathe in the fountain like we're homeless and fabulous.

For some reason, this pretty much sums up Odessa for me.

Since we were leaving the next night for Kiev, we had one big night out on the town. We met up with English students Nastiya and Margarita for dinner and drinks...and more drinks! (By the way, Margarita is a local artist who does cool vintage reprints. My favorites are the maps and urban sights. Here is her website.)

At Buffalo 99 on Rishelyevskaya Street. This waiter is THE BEST! His name is Oleksandr. Ask for him!

Yeah, that's right, grog. Arr, matey.

Nastiya and Martin in cahoots.

 Then back to Mick O'Neills Irish pub...





The following day we woke up to sunshine and empty wallets, so we convinced Martin to explore public transportation (the marshrutka bus instead of taxi) and ended up at Otrada Beach. But that's another story, so read on...

More pictures of Odessa on Facebook

Вареничная Победа (Kiev)

Looking for a blast from the past? Try Вареничная Победа. This USSR themed restaurant has it all- the decor, old Soviet cartoons, and food like your grandmother would make if she lived here.

What's in a name? A вареничная is a restaurant that makes вареники (vareniki), a dumpling filled with something hearty (cabbage, mushrooms, potato, meat) or sweet (cheese, cherry, poppyseed). Победа translates to victory and was a model of car produced in the Soviet Union during the 1940s and 50s. There's a story floating around that the original name for this car was going to be Родина (Motherland) but upon hearing this Stalin was furious, spitting out "How can you put a price tag on the Motherland!!" and thus the car was renamed Victory. The logo of this restaurant features a sketch of a Победа.

These vareniki were filled with potato and cabbage and topped with fried onion ($ = 26 gr)

I thought the interior of the restaurant was really cool. We only got a quick walk-through of the main floor en route to downstairs, but the main floor looked like an American dinner from the 1950s. D disagrees and thinks it looked like a kitchen, so perhaps we should have slowed down! But at least I can show you the downstairs:

That's right, it was modeled after a library. There were books everywhere. Old books by the look of it, all in Russian of course. And the ceiling was covered in prints of Soviet newspapers. Several TVs played disco hits and Eralash. Eralash means muddle or jumble in Russian and is a kids' comedy TV show that's been around since the 1970s. By the way, if you're interested in learning Russian, check out Cornell University's Beginning Russian Through Film website. Several episodes of Eralash are on there, along with a translation of the dialog.

The menu was luscious and glossy and had pictures of everything:

There was also a paper version of the menu that served as a place mat. This menu was designed to look like Pravda, the famous Soviet newspaper. It even said ПРАВДА in big letters.

Mike ordered свекольник, a cold soup made with beets.

 (26 griven)

D ordered this:

The words "asparagus" and "green beans" are apparently  interchangeable in Ukraine. Every time I see the word спаржа and get all excited, expecting asparagus, well...what should turn up instead but plain old green beans? Hmmm...

I laughed at D because this looks exactly like the food his mom prepares. I guess he misses her cooking!

The guys also ordered this drink. D later admitted that he didn't actually like the taste of it, but "it's the taste of childhood."

Beware of any green drinks in Ukraine- they taste like grass. Meanwhile, all my Russian & Ukrainian friends in the US who have tried root beer claim that it tastes like toothpaste. Who would guess that soda could be so culture specific!

And the grand finale, this- something D's relatives in Crimea introduced me to. The sweet sausage.

Would you try this?

The first time I ever saw this it was being offered as a dessert and looked just like a real sausage. I thought "no way, this has gone too far!!" until D's 8-year-old niece explained that it wasn't meat. It's kind of like cookie dough. Which I can never eat enough of, so yes, I pretty much consumed this dessert before the guys even had a chance.

And then it was time to pay up. This is what the bill came in.

Reason #512 why I love my brother: the first time he met D, he said "So, you were born in the CCCP?" CCCP is pronounced SSSR in the Russian language (and USSR in English), so it was really funny to hear my brother assume the CCCP was pronounced like the Latin letters.

The night held one final treat for us:

And that's all for stories from the capital of Ukraine.
Goodbye Kiev, until the next trip!

(PS: The restaurant Вареничная Победа has 8 locations in Kiev and 1 in Sevastopol.)

Kiev

I feel really fortunate to be writing this to you from first class. But wait, let's back up. We're on the way home, traveling on the "express" day train from Kiev to Kharkov. Cost: 170 gr ($20) per ticket. The overnight train is slightly cheaper but the trip is a couple of hours longer. The "express" train takes almost 7 hours. Anyways, the 170 gr got us into second class, which looked like this before everyone boarded: (pretty nice for Ukraine, right? I suspect this is an new train, btw. I took the express last fall and it didn't look like this.)

I guess D was still a little shocked by the muggy heat and crowds of Kiev...

And the metro, oh, the metro!

...so when the attendant came by offering first class seats and air-conditioning for an extra 100 griven ($12 each), D forked out the cash and moved us here. It's almost the same as 2nd class, just with fewer people. I figure it's worth it since I can make that much in less than three hours and this trip will last seven hours.

The funny thing is that first class tickets actually cost more at the train station, so I suspect that this upgrade ends up as cash in the attendant's wallet. By the way, there's also an even fancier area on the train. If this is first class, that has got to be .5 class. It's a small room with a huge picture of a city on the back wall. The room looks like it has seating for 8 people. But the most amazing thing on this train- LOOK at the BATHROOM! (or WC, as it's always labeled in Ukraine.) This is a far cry from the tiny and primitive bathrooms that are usually found on trains in Russia and Ukraine, this is a WC from the future.

even an electrical outlet!